While some divorces can be smooth and amicable, many are complicated. Emotions, assets, debts and the greatest blessings of your life, the children you created together, make for a difficult process.
Often, parents are agreeable to meeting with a therapist for support around how to help the children navigate the process, emotionally and logistically. Sometimes, parents agree that their children could benefit from talking to a professional during this process. However, parents don’t always see eye to eye on this and therapy can become a point of contention.
It is essential that any professional therapist sought during this process be qualified and experienced in working with divorce cases. If your situation involves risk factors such as allegations of abuse or neglect, even if these allegations are not confirmed, the case is called a “high-conflict divorce.” An inexperienced therapist or one who is not trained in this area can quickly either; 1. find themselves way over their head in confusion and conflict, and/or 2. unaware of the underlying dynamics and thus doing unintentional harm to the divorcing family, particularly the children.
A therapist who specializes in divorce, whether amicable, high-conflict or parental alienation will have the following;
- A specific contract for divorced, divorcing, never married couples with children.
- An understanding of the guidelines put forth by their licensing board regarding divorce cases.
- An understanding that parents sometimes have an expectation that the therapist see the situation their way and want the therapist to make an assessment that matches their view.
- An understanding that they (the therapist) is NOT judge or jury, and is not an investigator or a guardian ad litem.
- An understanding that they do not write letters of recommendation to the court on behalf of either parent, OR the child and they do not make recommendations to the judge about the best interest of the child. (These things are sometimes needed, but accomplished through motions, court orders, subpoenas, guardian ad litem, etc.)
Tracy Lamperti has extensive expertise in high conflict divorce cases and parental alienation. Presently, Tracy works with these cases only after being able to review the needs of the case. She works with one case at a time, as these cases can be very time consuming. Prospective clients must understand the costs involved which are not covered by insurance. Tracy Lamperti reserves the right to discontinue working on a case if agreed upon treatment objectives and goals are not progressing.
Sample Letter To Parent Who Is Reluctant To Engage
Dear XXXXXXXXX. My counseling services have been requested for your son by XXXXXXX (other parent and/or if, for example a school has recommended seeking services) to evaluate his level of distress in regard to the changes occurring within the family and provide therapy if deemed necessary. I require consent from both parents when I work with minors. I ask that both parents be involved in the process for the best outcome. Please browse around my website if you would like to get a sense of the work I do and let me know if you have any questions or concerns.
Divorce can be very painful for everyone involved. Each of you deserve support, a process that is as calm and organized as possible, qualified professionals when needed and a fair and just legal process.