What’s In The Envelope?

Take your marriage to the next level!

Or maybe there are some problems that you just can’t seem to get through.

Something to try…

  • Take some time to feel calm and centered.
  • Think about your marriage and when you feel the best.
  • Think about what you love about your spouse.
  • Think about your needs in the marriage.
  • Write down a few sentences that express your heart’s desire in the marriage.
  • Seal those thoughts up in an envelope that you will hand to your spouse or leave for them to find.
  • On the outside of the envelope, write something like,

“I love you! This envelope contains some of my deepest desires for our marriage. Please do not open until you have an envelope for me with your deepest desires.”

Whether your marriage is strong or struggling, this can be a wonderful experience of closeness!

It is true that in marriage, we can benefit from letting a lot of things go. However, when the same theme continues to occur, ignoring it will not help. There are two ways to resolve problems; one way is to hash out the negative dynamic and the other way is to express our geniune needs and in good faith, consistently work to improve our ability to speak to those deep needs of your spouse.

As an example,

“I have a deep desire for you to recognize how hard I work and that I do it to be a good provider for you and our children. I feel a sense of my purpose when I know you understand my hard work.”

“I have a deep desire for you to remain calm in stressful situations. When you are calm and we work together to problem solve, it makes me feel like you are holding me safely in the palm of your hand.”

“I have a deep desire for you to ask my opinion about things.  When you ask my opinion, I feel like we are doing this together and my opinion matters.”

So often, we assume we know what the other person wants and needs. So often we assume that what we need, they must need also. How will you know if you don’t talk about it?

Colossians 3:14: “And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.”