It is very important that you maintain contact with your partner’s emotional and physical experience. If during this process, you notice your partner disengaging, not sharing feedback, stiff, uncomfortable, you must pause and explore what they are experiencing. This needs to be a gentle and kind process where you resist any temptation to take it personally or get defensive. If you sense sadness or notice, for example, they are crying, you stop and hold them. These are signs of what we call “flooding,” when a person experiences emotional and physical symptoms from feeling overwhelmed. Ask lovingly and supportively things like, “Will you share with me what you are experiencing/thinking/feeling?” Just listen. If they are not ready to share, that’s ok. You are providing exactly what you should provide by just being present with them and holding them. This is love in one of its best forms and something they may not have experienced before. This is healing."
Whether you and your partner are comfortable with the expression of physical love already or in repairing, restoring or further developing your sex life, it is beneficial to take some time to explore the wide array of physical sensations that the body can experience. PDF For this writing, I am using “have sex” and “make … Continue reading Exploring Sensations
When Marital Intimacy Misses
PDF Download Have you tried and tried to have a meaningful and satisfying romantic experience and just can’t come together in a way that feels right for both of you? Is it clumsy or awkward? Does it lack the connection you wish? Is there no synchrony?Do you try to avoid sex? This is very common, and there … Continue reading When Marital Intimacy Misses
Re-establishing An Emotionally Intimate Connection PDF Download Goal To connect/re-connect in a meaningful and fun non-sexual way. Why non-sexual? Because some couples have become so separate and disconnected. They desire to reconnect but feel too vulnerable and overwhelmed to connect sexually. Most activities listed here are meant to take no longer than 45 minutes, except … Continue reading Marital Connection
Do you struggle with this? Does someone you love struggle with this? Do you both struggle with this? Confirmation bias is when you have an opinion or belief about someone and as information comes in, you select in every piece of information that validates or confirms your opinion or belief and you filter out every … Continue reading Confirmation Bias
D is for Determination not Divorce
Is your marriage irreparable?
The Hand Heart Mouth Connection
You've probably heard, sex for the woman begins in the kitchen when her husband talks to her lovingly, or in the afternoon when he sends her a loving message. If it starts then, what happens if you are angry in the morning exchange?
Alternatives to Male Femininity
I have so many great memories of my husband when our children were little. We held fairly traditional roles, but as I discuss below, we can switch it up as needed, either because of necessity or for fun. I worked two evenings a week when the children were little. Both my husband and I were … Continue reading Alternatives to Male Femininity
Will Men Ever Get It Right?
A majority of these men are engaged fathers who drive their children places, coach their teams, help with homework, read stories, cook meals, clean and work full-time jobs.
Bickering And Such In Marriage
I don't mean to demean adults, but bickering is really a thing with couples and it's a thing that we really need to rethink. It's not totally unlike a social media bickering session, where uncivilized, un-adult behavior is being slung all over the place. Typically, someone leaves feeling like the winner and the other person … Continue reading Bickering And Such In Marriage